Schools Closed: Strategies for Supporting Learning at Home
Authored by AnaMaria Guevara, LCSW & Edited by Caroline Varner, Educator
This article first addresses the needs of the parents and adults in the household as children, regardless of their age, naturally look to their parents for guidance and cues for how to respond, especially during high stress times. The good news is that taking care of you and starting with your own reflection is beneficial for the whole family.
I know some of you are already doing some of the recommendations addressed here, so this can serve as review or offer some new ideas.
Self-Regulation
It is natural for us to experience all sorts of emotions, especially as we are trying to swiftly adapt to changes to our own work situations, meet household demands, while simultaneous preparing to meet the needs of our children. Our brains are wired to help us survive. However, in order to make rational and less reactive decision, we must calm our brains and bodies. This also carries over to our children, when their minds, bodies and hearts are calm and feel safe, they are ready to learn.
The protective mind aka negative mind may immediately and automatically release a lengthy list of fears and scenarios of all the things that can go wrong during this time of high stress and uncertainty. Thus, sending your nervous system into a fight, flight or freeze response. Let’s start to help you, the parent, to find calm and stay connected with your body by thanking your protective mind for showing up to help you. Notice what your protective mind wants to tell you, do not dismiss it, your protective mind has a lot of experience and often wisdom. Maybe you can make a list of the concerns that show up and then ask from a place of curiosity, what does my protective mind need me to do to feel calm, capable, safe and connected?
Ground your body by anchoring yourself to the present moment by bringing your attention to the rhythm of your breath, a sound inside or outside the room, your body being held by the chair/sofa or whatever you are resting on, and take inventory of the colors in your room. Tell yourself, I am safe, connected and capable.
Role Clarification
Our job as parents is to continue to be the parents during this time of change. What our children need the most is to feel connected to us. Research on resiliency has consistently shown that when faced by life threatening situations children fair best when their parents are able to stay calm, focused and optimistic. Practice discernment, make a decision and commit while remaining flexible to new developments. This will allow you to model healthy emotional regulation and problem solving to your child, regardless of their age. For our children who have social cognitive impairments, it is helpful to talk about our process and steps aloud e.g. “Given what I know, classes have been moved to online instruction until April 2nd, lets proceed with a temporary plan that includes a daily schedule posted in the dining room, etc.”
Facilitator of Learning
The more that we can see and accept a role of supporting our children in learning to learn the more successfully we will prepare them for independent living and functioning. Think of this as an opportunity for working on life skills and brain developing as learning to learn is the foundation of executive functioning development.
Objectives
The first objective is to protect your relationship with your child and respect their little hearts. No concept or skill is worth damaging your relationship with your child. If your child does not understand a concept, make a note for the teacher or encourage your child to email the teacher, especially appropriate for our teens.
Change and transitions are challenging for all, especially our sensitive children. Prioritize the process of learning over the outcomes. Work does not need to meet your standards or be done “well,” aim for completion.
Implementation, how to?
Learning to Learn
- Begin by having a conversation to acknowledge the change and elicit your child’s wishes, questions and concerns.
- Designate a place for learning very intentionally. Remember that we form associations with space and working at home can be tricky if the child already has associations with certain places. For example, the place where the child does homework may be a good fit or you may need to intentionally set up a new place.
- Guiding Question: What does a learning space look like? Feel like? Sound like?
- Set up the space together with younger children and walk through the space with them so they have a clear understanding of how the space will be used. This will help identify changes that may need to be made. For example, teachers set up their classrooms in stations with pre-determined plans for usage. Note: This is also a must for our teens with social cognitive differences.
- Identify a wall within the learning space where a large visual schedule can be posted. The schedule can be on a white board to allow for daily modifications or use paper to make daily changes. Note: Teens and those capable of writing should write the schedule themselves as this will help improve their memory and level of commitment.
- Prompt your child to spy potential distractions and support them with plans for removing these distractions. For example, for children with poor impulse control, make sure that the gadget used for school work does not host video games. For teens, encourage them to park or drop-off their cell phones at a set location during “school/learning hours” or to set their phones to “do not disturb mode.”
- Gifted learners are highly skilled at out-smarting systems to avoid unpleasant activities. This may look like finishing work swiftly or skipping some work to free themselves up for play. Your clever and intelligent child may also finish early because the assignment was too easy or lacked depth. Do not try to outsmart your child as this creates a relationship based on distrust. Instead, anticipate that this may happen, and identify acceptable activities for your child such as working ahead on other assignments, reading for pleasure, planning next day’s activities, pursuing an area of passion, or planning the family’s summer vacation
- “Check for understanding.” Does your child know how to use the space, the schedule for the first day/week, have the materials they need set up in the best location for quick and efficient access?
- Close the planning with a list of written down agreements for “how learning time will be honored” in the home.
Supporting Regulation for Optimal Learning
- If your child is upset or worried, again start by calming yourself and stop your fear from pushing you immediately into problem solving mode. Listen to what is true for your child, validate it, offer empathy, and refrain from reasoning and “correcting their thoughts.”
- Review emails from school with your child, when appropriate, to make sure that your child knows how to log-in to access online courses, assignments, and understands the teachers’ expectations for attendance and work completion.
- Plan for breaks in the schedule, as appropriate. Some schools are providing highly structured daily instruction and others have offered little or no instruction plans. Encourage a movement break, maybe offer a snack in the kitchen, and offer an opportunity for socializing and connection. For teens, this may mean that they can use their cell phones to connect with friends and for younger children they may need you to be available to play with them 10-15 minutes.
- Offer self-regulation opportunities, this may mean having a tinkering/calming/ sensory corner that is stocked with random items for creating and manipulating, a structured building activity or craft, sensory tools like putty or sand play, drawing materials, taking an old computer apart, etc. Incorporate a timer for this space to ensure that it is not used as a source of avoidance for less desirable activities but for self-regulation only. Follow the guidelines of your child’s occupational therapist for this section or a default of 15-30 minutes depending on the depth of the options provided, your child’s creativity and the other items on the daily schedule.
- “Not available signs:” As you’ll likely need to work from home and cannot be available at all times, which may be confusing for your child because you are “there” but not “available,” institute a “not available sign” on your door or work area. Also, use a small notebook to “hold ideas and messages” for later so your child has a place to land these and can shift their attention to the task at hand. Your child may also want to create their own sign “learning underway, stay out,” to protect their space and time.
- Seeing the Big Picture: Children like adults benefit from seeing the big picture, so having a monthly calendar to see “time” will offer another layer of structure and predictability. If more time for learning at home is added, the child can see that more tangibly when it is added to the calendar. Monthly calendars also help with planning and executive functioning. Maybe there will be digital conferences with teachers or due dates for assignments that can be tracked on the calendar.
- Make time to go for a jog or walk with your child, spend time in nature, if possible. Research clearly shows that nature is calming and motor activity helps to reset our nervous system to calm. Many of your kids, my clients, are athletes and therefore their bodies are conditioned to daily physical activity and this must continue to some degree. Note: Some teens may go alone, but keep in mind that this time of social distancing is unhealthy for our already shy teens so even a quiet jog together is a big win.
- Allow for alone time for yourself and your child. Teens with a more sensitive and introverted temperament will especially need alone time.
Maintaining Consistency & Practicing Life Skills
- Maintain a consistent morning schedule, this is not a vacation for your child or us as parents (unfortunately). Getting up at the same time is crucial for our sensory kids and those who rely on external structure because they lack internal structure.
- Review the Plan for the Day: Just like elementary school children start their day with circle time to connect and get a sense of the day, you too can help your child stay calm and focused by reviewing the plan for the day over breakfast every day. Teens may not need help creating a plan, and a simple check-in may be enough. For example, “’’Are you all set for today? Need help with anything?”
- Engage in daily activities that mimic “officially” starting your day. For example, no PJs in the learning space, if their first class is not super early, have your child practice making their bed (if they don’t already). Again, it doesn’t have to meet your standards, it’s about practice.
- Engage your child in helping to prepare meals together. If you have more than one teen at home, consider creating a meal prep rotation schedule. This is good practice for when your child goes off to college and has housemates, not to mention that it’s a healthy community-mindset practice.
- Enlist your child’s help in picking up and cleaning up shared space.
- Be specific about “when learning time is over” and offer or reach agreement about what activities are acceptable afterwards.
Again, many of you are already doing some of these activities to support your child with homework time and learning. This is an extensive list and you do not need to do everything on this list. Choose the items that fit and disregard the rest. And if none of these work for your child, set up a time with your child’s therapist or teacher to review and figure out what clues your child’s behavior is providing in order to help create a plan that works.
On a final note, while this is not a vacation, it does not mean that there cannot be time for shared joy. Please plan for fun activities such as baking every day, playing games, watching movies, making a family documentary about “social distancing,” planting a veggie garden, starting a smoothie happy hour, and more.